I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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