Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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