Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
