office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
