He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
