i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
