What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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