Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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