im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
