My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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