Ketchup is God's man juice
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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