man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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