Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
