But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
