mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
