Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
