By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
