where am i from again
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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