Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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