Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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