4 words: hood of his car
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
