just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
