Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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