And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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