please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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