Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
