He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
this will be a night to untag.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
