problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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