we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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