Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
its liver damage thursday
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
