Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize