We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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