All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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