Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
