I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
