Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize