youre lurking in front of me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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