On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
