Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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