But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
