Whod you bang
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
