I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
