the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
