he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
