I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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