I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
