There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
