I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize