I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The air was thick with penises
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
