All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The adults are the big ones right?
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