Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
