don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
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Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.