HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits