i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
