dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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